As humans, our minds contain a complex collection of programs that we have inherited and acquired though our lifetime. These programs are composite mixes of conflicting data all vying for expression in our lives. The conflicted programming we have inherited keeps our small egoic nature dominating our lives. This is the source of much suffering and delay in getting what we really want out of life. I call these, hidden double binds.
Hidden double binds sabotage our success. We say we want to be healthy, but we eat foods we know are bad for us, and we fail to exercise even when we know we can and it would be good for us. Why is that? We know to save a percentage of our income, but we spend it on things we don’t really need instead. Why do we do that? To do something we know will cost us our health or happiness is an act of insanity. What could possibly posses us to take action that harms us?
These hidden conflicting programs are the “ties that bind” us and keep us from being great in the world. The answer to these questions lies in uncovering and correcting the errors in our subconscious programming. Where did these conflicts come from? The answer is, I don’t really know. It appears that they are left over from early times in the evolution of human consciousness. They may be left over from the times when we had to be concerned about saving food and resources in order to make it through the winter. Perhaps they originate from times when we may have only had a limited number of options for food and we had to take what we could get and not give any away in case we were not going to have enough. We may have only known how to give in order to get something in exchange. Currently we are living in a perceived world of scarce resources. Maybe the egoic mind is simply insane. There are any numbers of possible reasons that these double binds exist, but speculation gets us nowhere. The only thing that really matters is being aware that they do exist and that they are limiting what is possible in your life whether you know it or not.
Here are some examples of double binds we have uncovered from working with our clients:
- I want to succeed but I don’t want to market myself or my products.
- I want to be wealthy, but I am afraid to risk sharing my gifts and talents with others.
- I think I am a loser, but I am trying to convince others that I am successful by pretending to be successful. I lie about what’s real about my life and then wonder why I can’t make a difference in my business.
- I believe that the only way to make money is to give myself away— either my services or my products, and then hope that others will see how wonderful my business is and tell others about it.
- I say that I want money but what I really want is to be admired, and I secretly think people with money are snobs.
These insane background programs are controlling all of us to some degree. They run your life and continue to produce a life that is unsatisfying.
You know this is true! You have seen it at work and then have wondered how it happens. For example, when I am unaware that being admired is a greater priority than making money, I will trade admiration for dollars and be financially starved and confused about why. Another example is feeding an addiction instead of our body or investing our money in catabolic pleasures/brownies instead of anabolic joy/hiking.
The ego only gives in order to get. It is the only strategy it knows. The ego is a low energy parasitic program (much like a computer virus) and will drain you of your health, wealth and happiness.
Your Authentic Self is yearning to be expressed. It knows that the only powerful reason to get is to give—to it’s own aliveness and well-being first, then to the aliveness and well-being of others. There is great power in this realization.
Here at Transperative Coaching we are available to assist you to clear the hidden double binds in the background of your mind, freeing you to operate in the world to levels of greater power, health, and joy.