“In my defenselessness my safety lies.” ACI
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The realization that one’s life has left behind many relationships incomplete, fearing that they may one day have to confront those from their past and reconcile the mess they left behind, leaves one avoiding life and its’ many opportunities.
Reconciliation (Clean-Up) conversations are powerful opportunities to complete what has been left incomplete and create new futures of peace and cooperation.
Here are 6 components we have used to repair the damage we caused in relationships from our past:
- Be 100% responsible for what happened. Assume that what happened occurred because you were involved.
- Be empowered (loving) while communicating with the people in your life with the intention of reconciling the past.
- Share from your heart how you caused the breakdown in that relationship; (this does not mean you are at fault or the one to blame), simply reveal how you were being forceful (fearful) in the relationship and what limiting belief(s) you were hiding.
- Share the effect that your forceful (fearful) behavior had on you, them, and others.
- Let them know how you are committed to show up in the future and what they can rely on you to be and do.
- Apologize and ask them to forgive you.
- Be quiet, don’t say anything until they have had a chance to process your request and respond.
- Accept any response they give, honoring their answer without trying to fix or change their mind.
- Ask if there is anything else they need to say to feel complete or if there is something they need you to say or do to make amends for what has transpired between you?